A while ago, my seven-year-old and I were watching ‘Elmo in Grouchland’. In the Elmo movie, Huxley, the villain, steals Elmo’s blanket. When Elmo asks for his blanket back, Huxley says, “If I touch it, I own it” then he touches a variety of objects he has taken from people and as he touches each item he says “BING, I own it.” I told Gracie that Mr. Patinkin, who plays the villain, is one of my favorite actors.
‘Well, he might be nice other times, but he’s not my favorite right now,” she said.
She and I both had our own perspectives and at that moment they didn’t match. Nothing wrong with this. In fact, we all need to be mindful of other people’s perspectives without getting “stuck in the mud,” where we are unable to see someone else’s point of view.
My children remind me often of “different perspectives.” For instance, I told my daughter to use hand sanitizer one day and she said, “you’re wasting your time.” I thought she meant there was no point to using hand sanitizer until she explained it was a waste of my time to say two words when a “compound word” would do. Instead of hand sanitizer, she suggested I save time by combing the words and refer to it as “handzitizer”. I see that, Gracie! Good point, I guess. (Now I call it handzitizer all the time.)
If you ever watch “Friends,” you may remember Joey referring to a situation as a MOO point. When the other “Friends” characters asked him if he meant “moot” point, he emphatically said he meant “moo point” because it’s like trying to explain something to a cow. HAHA – love that perspective.
Do you have junk boxes or drawers? I have several – way more than I should, but sometimes when I go looking for something in my junk box, I find something useful and it suddenly becomes more of a treasure box. (It’s a matter of perspective again.) When adults have hard days, do we tell our children to “be quiet” because we’ve had a hard day, have a headache or need quiet time? However, when our child has a hard day or big feelings, do we tell them to quit throwing a fit, pouting or being whiny? We need to see things from their perspective, and again, it really IS a matter of perspective.
Our elementary school was celebrating Veteran’s Day a while ago and asked for all students to bring pictures of their favorite VET to school. Gracie wanted to bring a picture of her older sister, who has NOT served in any branch of the military. When asked “why”, she said without hesitation, “Well, Payton worked at the vet’s office with animals, so that is important service.” I re-explained “veteran” versus “vet,” but I love that she was proud of the work her sister did as a service. What a cute perspective.
I grew up calling my mother “Mom.” She called her mother “Mamma.” Each of my children calls me something a little different: “Mamma”, Mom”, Mamma Lu;” all of these are wonderful (and none involve curse words.) They call my aunt “Carol the Great” instead of “Great Aunt Carol.” My grandma was on oxygen when my kids knew her, so they called her “Grandma Oxygen.” They call my mom and dad “Grandma Kneepad and Papa Pinecone” and while I won’t go into the reasons why, they are terms of endearment just like “Me-maw” or “Nana,” “Pops,” “Papa” or whatever works in your circle.
Finally, a few weeks ago, Gracie couldn’t find her school library book. It was stressing us both out. We knew it was somewhere. I simply paid for the book and told her we would eventually find it and it wasn’t worth the stress. I changed my perspective from becoming anxious about the book, to just writing it off as “stuff happens”. A couple weeks later, we found the book and she took it to school.
The librarian refunded my $20 but did so by giving Gracie the envelope with the money in it. Gracie saw it from a different perspective. She told me she won $20 for sitting the nicest during library time. (Oh, my!)
Bottom line: Perspective is just that. Yours doesn’t have to match someone else’s. We can each have our own perspective and co-exist peacefully. In my job as Western’s athletic director, I see perspective as this: “Talent hits a target no one else can hit. Genius hits a target no one else can see.” Have a great day!
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