My journey with hospice

My journey with hospice started about two years ago, long after the word “cancer” became part of my family’s regular vocabulary; long after my dad was diagnosed with brain cancer.

No doubt, when hospice came into our lives, it was a difficult time. Thinking about it, it’s hard to put down in words. Even though we knew his death would come, I was not ready for it. In my mind, I don’t think I really fully accepted the fact that he would pass, or thought it really would happen, but it did. When hospice first came into our home, I didn’t like it. I was angry. I was probably even rude or snobbish to them.

I didn’t want the harsh reality of what was to come to set in.

The hospice nurses who visited the house though, were helpful and understanding. Whatever dad needed, they got. Whatever we needed to help with dad, they brought for us. We felt comfort knowing their 24-hour phone number was posted on the fridge for us to use if we needed to.

My personal journey with hospice, I don’t think really began until months after my dad passed, when my mom talked me into going to the hospice’ grievance bereavement group with her one summer evening. Reluctantly, I went along to the group.

To my surprise, I found emotional relief from attending the group. It was a small group of just a few people, who were grieving a death, like my mom and I. The group was lead by a member of hospice, Kolbi Williams. She had also suffered a death of a loved one. Together, we just talked.

Pretty soon, I found myself frequenting the hospice group more often. I would come on my own. I looked forward to it. It was always a small group of people, and sometimes it was just Kolbi and I. We would sit and drink tea and just talk through what was going on in my journey of grieving. She would share stories of her experience and how she had felt.

Time has passed since then, and things are easier, yet the journey continues. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of my dad in some form or another. My relationship and journey with hospice has evolved over the past couple years, and I am grateful and thankful for them. Some of my most difficult times were made less so.

My journey with hospice has made me passionate about it. It has made me passionate about helping others who are grieving, who are mourning the loss of a loved one. I want to help others, like they helped me.

“Writing about it, living through it, even though it’s painful, it can be of such help to other people, what your experience was with your dad,” Hospice of Sweetwater County Executive Director Pam Jelaca told me. “You can take that experience and help others with it.”