I recently heard a conversation where one lady asked another, “What do you do for a living?” The other lady replied, “I’m just a stay-at-home mom.”
I actually jumped into their conversation and said, “That is so awesome. I wish I could be a stay-at-home mom. That’s one of the hardest jobs ever.” I hated that this women was using the word “just” to explain that she was “only” something. She was degrading herself. When people use that word to describe themselves, or something they have done, I really feel like they are selling themselves short. Why should anyone do that? There are enough negative people in the world who will do that for you, without thinking twice.
For me, if I’m giving my best and I have positive intentions, then why in the world should I allow myself or others to limit me?
Self-esteem, self-acceptance and positive self-talk are crucial elements of healthy mental and social well-being. One of my favorite sayings is by Laird Hamilton. He said, “Make sure your worst enemy doesn’t live between your own two ears.”
Most of us spend a great deal of time worrying about helping others and making sure others are happy, which is a great thing. But, we also spend way too much time thinking about what others think of us. Mark Twain said, “The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.”
I love the idea that children have that allows them to think that they can all be President of the United States, a superhero or anything they want, no matter what. Somewhere along the line we lose that, and that is truly unfortunate. We need to believe we can change our own little corner of the world and that we do have value; not because others tell us we do, but because we are giving our best. That’s enough.
When I was a junior in high school, my English teacher asked us all to write original poems in a limerick style, where the poem is a rhymed humorous, nonsense poem of five lines.
The poem’s rhyming scheme is: a-a-b-b-a, with the first, second and fifth lines rhyming and then the third and fourth lines rhyming each other. The syllable structure is: 9-9-6-6-9 per line. My poem was as follows:
There once was a pig who was achin’
The farmer said, “Let’s make some bacon.”
So he started to slice,
And he’d only cut twice,
When the pig yelled, “Stop! I was fakin’!” (Lu Sweet, 1983)
The teacher didn’t like it because she thought it was too violent. It’s the only “C” I ever got on an assignment. No worries though and to this day I’m still proud of my pig poem.
It’s not conceited to be proud of yourself, to be happy with who you are and to believe that you can accomplish great things.
It’s really OK to like yourself even when you mess up.
Everyone messes up. Gautama Buddha said, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
Until next month… be extra nice to yourself, be proud of yourself and please don’t “just”ify yourself.
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