Preparing for my birds to leave the nest

As I filled out the pages and pages of kindergarten registration forms for my oldest son, Matthew, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed.

Not just for filling out the forms, while trying to keep my three-year-old son John, and Matthew entertained while filling them out, but overwhelmed that my oldest is going to be a kindergartener.

I literally could feel my heart getting heavier.

This feeling would only intensify for me a couple weeks later as I was registering John for preschool.

“Preschool already?”

This thought just makes my heart feel even heavier. It is hard to explain, but I am sure most mothers go through this. If not, maybe I need to visit the doctor and have my heart checked out.

However, I can’t help but wonder where has the time gone.

I just seems like yesterday I was rocking and singing them to sleep; and now in the fall I will be watching my oldest get on the big, yellow, school bus for the first time. Just the thought brings tears to my eyes.

Plus, my youngest starts preschool?

Where did time go?

It seems like when they are little you are always looking forward to the next big thing. When are they going to crawl? When are they going to walk? When are they going to talk? When will they get their first teeth?

This predictions and wondering just keeps happening as time moves forward, which is why I think I am going to try even harder to take more photos and live in the moment instead of always looking toward the future.

I think sometimes if we look toward the future too much we miss out on what is happening right now. Which could be pretty awesome.

I am trying to stay positive and upbeat as my baby birds make their ways out of the nest and into the big world, but boy is it hard. I can be pretty emotional sometimes, especially when it comes to my kids; and I am sure there will be some tears this fall.

However, the other day I realized that for the first time in five years I would have some time to myself.

Yes. Actual real time all by myself. It adds up to only about five hours a week, but still the possibilities of what I can do with that time are endless. Or at least it seems that way now.

I am excited about having a few hours to myself, but at the same time I know there are going to be days when I am sad and want nothing more than by baby birds close to me, but for now all of these emotions can wait because I am going to see what this summer brings us instead. It is going to be a great one; and probably one of the last summers we will have for a while that won’t have a lot of commitments.