Diaper cakes are a lie

At times, there are things that exist that don’t make a lot of sense and for me, diaper cakes perfectly fit that description.

For the uninitiated, a diaper cake is an arrangement of diapers given to expectant or recent mothers as a celebratory gift. I only recently discovered the existence of diaper cakes after a friend’s wife remarked about how nice the diaper cake she was busy making was turning out.

“It’s a baby shower thing. A way to give diapers without just getting a box of diapers,” my girlfriend told me after I asked the obvious question.

The term diaper cake, in and of itself, is a misnomer. For a brief and wonderful moment, I thought it was actually a cake shaped like a diaper. I also briefly wondered if the baker, in the pursuit of some tongue-in-cheek humor, would fill the center with a fudge sauce. It makes sense really, since the word cake implies a delicious baked good. A cake is happy and joyous. They’re fun and sometimes filled ice cream or frosting.  Generally everyone’s happy to have a cake and, most importantly, eat it.

Diapers on the other hand, aren’t very happy or fun. The only happy diaper usage comes after worries about a baby’s digestive health have solidified within a parent’s mind. Sometimes, even after that big moment comes when those concerns are in place; the pleasant feeling of relief is short lived. A filled diaper can be a source of fear and dread, even if its contents were at one point ice cream and frosting. In short, the diaper cake is a lie.

A second problem with diaper cakes is more utilitarian in nature. As my girlfriend pointed out, it’s a way of giving diapers without giving a box of diapers. That box can be pretty useful for the obvious use of keeping the diapers in the box until they’re needed. While I won’t deny the fact that they’re pretty creative, but I think that’s a glaring design fault. After receiving a diaper cake or two, the choices of unrolling and storing diapers or keeping the cake as is until its contents are needed are the only options. Option one means finding another container for the diapers while option two means using it as needed, which can quickly turn that beautiful diaper cake into a not so beautiful diaper plate of taquitos. I’d rather just keep the box.

Diaper cakes don’t make sense to me. I’m sure I’ll end up seeing one in my house at some point, especially after writing this column, but I’d think a box of diapers to keep until the bundle of joy arrives is a better option. Cakes are celebratory and I understand an artistic arrangement of diapers and other baby supplies is a special way of celebrating the arrival of a child. But, a diaper cake should be a cake. That way, everyone can share in the celebration by feasting on some cake, then laugh when the fudge sauce starts to ooze out.