The joys of getting older

It should have been a normal trip to get my haircut, but that was just not the case.

In the course of two hours, I came to the conclusion that I’m not only getting old, but I also get all the joys that come with it.

It was a Tuesday and I had a long day, but when I decide I need a haircut, I must get it done as soon as possible or I can’t function properly. I used to be much more of a spur of the moment type of person, but with age this has changed. If I commit to something, I like to have it done as soon as possible.

So I made my way to the hair place and when I walked in I should have just turned around. When did I become so stubborn? Jack, it’s just hair and it’s not like you have the flowing locks of a cartoon princess. Just by the amount of people waiting, it was going to be a process, one I could have just simply avoided.

The receptionist welcomed me and asked me if I checked in online. This was the first thing that got to me. I just wanted my haircut, why on earth should I need to check in online. Do we really need to do everything on our phones. In the future is the phone going to wipe for me?

After I said no, she informed me the wait would be one hour and 40 minutes. Eureka, I thought to myself, am I really going to wait this long?

The first few minutes of sitting in the uncomfortable chair, I started to get really frazzled. There were a ton of kids in their and they were running around like chickens with their heads cut off and saying they were loud was an understatement.

Once again, this must be a sign on me getting old because I just wanted to scream “shut up and be still you little heathens” -- but not quite as nice as that.

Once again, this is something that wouldn’t have bothered me.

I soon just listened to a mother talking on her phone. I’m not quite sure why, but when people answer their phone in public, they really think it’s necessary to talk about 20 times louder than necessary. I’m not sure if they find it interesting to the rest of the people in the business that there husband wants her to bring home some chewing tobacco, but just go ahead and talk on volume 10 anyway.

I started to hear her talk about the kids being off of school on Friday and needing a sitter.

This is another instance where I shouldn’t have cared, but all I could think about is the typical stubborn adult response of “how many darn days are these kids off? We never had that many days off when I was young.”

Wow, I thought to myself, that used to make me crazy when I’d hear people say that because the amount of school days is probably the same, but this is what I’ve become.

At this point there were about five people ahead of me when a lady with about five kids who looked like they had not had a haircut since birth came in.

I had a short smile thinking I beat them in, but the joy was short lived. When the receptionist asked if they had checked in online, she smiled and said yes.

NOOOOOOOOO! This cannot be happening. At this rate, I might be here until midnight.

As I was sitting there I my knee started to throb. I’ve got a bad knee, but the pain usually isn’t out of nowhere. It’s only if I over do it. I than heard the yapper on the phone say that it was supposed to rain and get really cold.

Holy cow, am I know the type of persons whose body is affected by a dramatic change coming in the barometric pressure? I’ve heard people saying they have certain body parts ache prior to a weather change, but I never bought into what I thought was an old wife’s tale. I now buy into it.

Eventually after an hour, one of the hair professionals knew the family had bumped my spot in line and took me back. Maybe she sensed I was aging by the minute, but that was a classy move.

I just wanted a buzz, so it wasn’t a hard haircut. As she put the number two extension on and took the first chunk out of my hair I almost leaped out of my seat. I looked like in the time between haircuts I had lost so much hair in the front that I had a bald spot.

I was about ready to cry when I focused my eyes and took a better look. I had not lost my hair, it was just so gray I couldn’t really see it.

Aww, the joys of getting older. I might just let my hair grow out in the style of Crystal Gayle.

If you know that reference, you are old too.